The Descent of Soul

This world is a strange place. I could not ever understand how it worked. Why were people killed? Why did the innocent suffer? Why did you have to pay for the sins of another man? Why did people live in fear? Why did they talk about hell & heaven being different places than this world?

I was new in the city, fueled by hunger and thirst of ambition. I had left my family behind, and came seeking a brighter future. I loved each bit of the city, every corner, every inch, every speck of dust. The buildings were huge and dynamic, people were full of life, never stopping for a minute, the air around me was magical. It was as if one held their breath for too long and suddenly released the pressure, and oxygen went bustling into the lungs, giving respite of life. That was the feeling I felt as I walked into my office.

They all welcomed me and then went about doing their usual duties. I felt alive in this environment. I instantly forgot my family and how much they had sacrificed to make me what I was & send me where I was. Sometimes the human mind chooses to ignore certain things and takes them for granted. I took my family for granted. I took their sacrifice for granted. I took my happiness for granted.

I loved the way everyone stared at me. It made me feel important. I had never been noticed much & now all this attention was making me feel heady. There were both male & female colleagues. My father had been a little worried about this. He felt something bad could happen to his innocent girl. I wonder how he knew it.

There used to be parties every Saturday. The music… the darkness… the touch… the psychedelic aura… the laughter… the madness… it absorbed me & I drowned in it without much effort. It was as if I had been living in the wrong place the whole time. This was where I belonged. I didn’t mind working late nights. We had company of the big town guys who kept us entertained with their anecdotes. And one of them, was crawling closer to me.

I cannot say his name anymore. He was one of the few males I had talked to in my life. He looked sincere & his eyes told you that you could trust him. And we became friends. He joked with me about falling in love. I played along with his jokes. He helped me with the work I couldn’t do. The boss called us a great team. We ate lunch together. But something in me kept telling me to stay away from him, and so I kept this bond till the office boundaries. He didn't seem to mind.

I don’t remember much from that night. Only the darkness. But the details of the horrendous emotions I felt are etched into my mind by a red hot knife. All others had left. Only he and I remained till late. As I wrapped up, he came to me and said he wanted to show me something from the terrace of the tower. I saw a twinkle in his eyes and presumed that it must be a nice city view. He told me to leave the disturbance of our cellphones there. We locked the office and walked up to the terrace. It was dark. He held my hand and I followed. Few moments later, he showed me the beautiful dazzling city lights. I kept smiling all the while. He pulled out a bottle of wine from his bag & gave it me. I hesitated, for it was late. He told me to take a sip and I’d see a never before view of the city. He knew what he meant, I didn’t.

The first sip was my last as I transcended into drowsiness. He took away the bottle and made me lie down. I could hear unzipping. I suddenly knew what it meant. I tried to move but it felt as if had been tied down with heavy rocks. I wanted to shout but I couldn’t even whisper. I was nearly paralyzed. His hands ran all over my body, in places no one had ever touched. The drugged wine was doing its job well as I was as lifeless as a rag doll. He wanted to kiss me, but my body was beyond response.




A sharp bolt of pain seared through my pelvis as he entered me. My throat was choked but my soul was writhing in uncontrollable agony. He seemed to be in a fit of fury and kept bashing my innards until he had his fill. For a moment his eyes met mine. My tear filled eyes failed to see any guilt in his. The trust had long vanished; it had been replaced by merciless lust.

He propped me against a wall and picked up his bag. He started walking and before leaving, he turned back and smiled. I shall not forget that smile. An unforgivable smile.

It took me hours to catch hold of myself. It was a Sunday and I was locked up there. I tended to my wounds where he had left me sore. Each cell in my entire body was dying a slow death, as the consequences of the incident dawned upon me. I was trembling with a sting… of shame. This city certainly had a different view.

I have seen my best friend going through the same fate in college. I know things are not going to be the same. I’ll be condemned as a victim, even a slut by some. My father might die of a heart attack when he knows about this. Like my mother did long ago. Things will move on as usual.  You’ll find the same smiling faces in the same bustling places every day. You might not even notice my absence after some time. And you’ll find him sitting on the 5^th cubicle on the left on 13^th floor of this building, befriending some guileless girl, with those trustworthy eyes.

If only he had asked me if I loved him, you wouldn’t be reading this.

Though he had been trained to be calculative and emotionless, the forensic expert shuddered the moment he finished reading it. He had cross-examined the blood stains from the paper of the letter with the cold, tattered, lifeless blood soaked female corpse that lay outside the tall office tower. A fall this high ensured that the soul left her disgraced body before it hit the ground.

He cleared his mind of the unnecessary thoughts and scribbled in his frigid handwriting on the inference sheet. Match positive.