The Descent of Soul

This world is a strange place. I could not ever understand how it worked. Why were people killed? Why did the innocent suffer? Why did you have to pay for the sins of another man? Why did people live in fear? Why did they talk about hell & heaven being different places than this world?

I was new in the city, fueled by hunger and thirst of ambition. I had left my family behind, and came seeking a brighter future. I loved each bit of the city, every corner, every inch, every speck of dust. The buildings were huge and dynamic, people were full of life, never stopping for a minute, the air around me was magical. It was as if one held their breath for too long and suddenly released the pressure, and oxygen went bustling into the lungs, giving respite of life. That was the feeling I felt as I walked into my office.

They all welcomed me and then went about doing their usual duties. I felt alive in this environment. I instantly forgot my family and how much they had sacrificed to make me what I was & send me where I was. Sometimes the human mind chooses to ignore certain things and takes them for granted. I took my family for granted. I took their sacrifice for granted. I took my happiness for granted.

I loved the way everyone stared at me. It made me feel important. I had never been noticed much & now all this attention was making me feel heady. There were both male & female colleagues. My father had been a little worried about this. He felt something bad could happen to his innocent girl. I wonder how he knew it.

There used to be parties every Saturday. The music… the darkness… the touch… the psychedelic aura… the laughter… the madness… it absorbed me & I drowned in it without much effort. It was as if I had been living in the wrong place the whole time. This was where I belonged. I didn’t mind working late nights. We had company of the big town guys who kept us entertained with their anecdotes. And one of them, was crawling closer to me.

I cannot say his name anymore. He was one of the few males I had talked to in my life. He looked sincere & his eyes told you that you could trust him. And we became friends. He joked with me about falling in love. I played along with his jokes. He helped me with the work I couldn’t do. The boss called us a great team. We ate lunch together. But something in me kept telling me to stay away from him, and so I kept this bond till the office boundaries. He didn't seem to mind.

I don’t remember much from that night. Only the darkness. But the details of the horrendous emotions I felt are etched into my mind by a red hot knife. All others had left. Only he and I remained till late. As I wrapped up, he came to me and said he wanted to show me something from the terrace of the tower. I saw a twinkle in his eyes and presumed that it must be a nice city view. He told me to leave the disturbance of our cellphones there. We locked the office and walked up to the terrace. It was dark. He held my hand and I followed. Few moments later, he showed me the beautiful dazzling city lights. I kept smiling all the while. He pulled out a bottle of wine from his bag & gave it me. I hesitated, for it was late. He told me to take a sip and I’d see a never before view of the city. He knew what he meant, I didn’t.

The first sip was my last as I transcended into drowsiness. He took away the bottle and made me lie down. I could hear unzipping. I suddenly knew what it meant. I tried to move but it felt as if had been tied down with heavy rocks. I wanted to shout but I couldn’t even whisper. I was nearly paralyzed. His hands ran all over my body, in places no one had ever touched. The drugged wine was doing its job well as I was as lifeless as a rag doll. He wanted to kiss me, but my body was beyond response.




A sharp bolt of pain seared through my pelvis as he entered me. My throat was choked but my soul was writhing in uncontrollable agony. He seemed to be in a fit of fury and kept bashing my innards until he had his fill. For a moment his eyes met mine. My tear filled eyes failed to see any guilt in his. The trust had long vanished; it had been replaced by merciless lust.

He propped me against a wall and picked up his bag. He started walking and before leaving, he turned back and smiled. I shall not forget that smile. An unforgivable smile.

It took me hours to catch hold of myself. It was a Sunday and I was locked up there. I tended to my wounds where he had left me sore. Each cell in my entire body was dying a slow death, as the consequences of the incident dawned upon me. I was trembling with a sting… of shame. This city certainly had a different view.

I have seen my best friend going through the same fate in college. I know things are not going to be the same. I’ll be condemned as a victim, even a slut by some. My father might die of a heart attack when he knows about this. Like my mother did long ago. Things will move on as usual.  You’ll find the same smiling faces in the same bustling places every day. You might not even notice my absence after some time. And you’ll find him sitting on the 5^th cubicle on the left on 13^th floor of this building, befriending some guileless girl, with those trustworthy eyes.

If only he had asked me if I loved him, you wouldn’t be reading this.

Though he had been trained to be calculative and emotionless, the forensic expert shuddered the moment he finished reading it. He had cross-examined the blood stains from the paper of the letter with the cold, tattered, lifeless blood soaked female corpse that lay outside the tall office tower. A fall this high ensured that the soul left her disgraced body before it hit the ground.

He cleared his mind of the unnecessary thoughts and scribbled in his frigid handwriting on the inference sheet. Match positive.

The End of Road

The train had slowly stopped at the last station. It was evening, dusk to be precise; when the tired rays of sun turned orange, the blushing sky turned deep pink and lazy the September clouds turned red. This place was serene, near the mountains and had a laidback air to it. The backdrop of the hills made it picture-perfect. It induced the feeling of doing nothing and watching as time passed by. The kind of place everyone dreams of, but never gets to live at.

He got down from the train and looked around for his host. He looked tired but his eyes twinkled. His appearance could have been confusing to some, but the locals were familiar with foreigners coming to their town in search of something. His stubble and spectacles gave away the fact that he was an unkempt geek. He wore the Rudraaksh bracelet around his right wrist. A simple orange kurta and old denims made him look like those fabled travelers who left home to search for the truth. He had travelled thousands of miles through air and then hundreds of miles through land to reach where he was. This was the Abode of Gods, and he was searching for Them.

He checked his cellphone. There was a text message; it said “I’ll be late. Got flat tires. Be there ASAP”. He sighed. He had nothing to do but wait in this unfamiliar land. He felt strangely peaceful as he saw the huge Himalayan range guarding over him. Maybe, They are the Gods. He smiled inwardly as he thought of his peers back home, who had tried everything from vodka to weed, from cocaine to meth to find their centre of peace. How daft they were! They had been looking in the wrong spot all the time.

He traveled light, but carried books all the time. He checked his inexpensive watch, and sat down at the rusty bench to read his copy of The Alchemist. This was the sole reason that had led him to initiate this journey. He felt inspired every time he touched the cover of the book or read Coelho’s life story. When he had first read the book, he couldn’t sleep for many nights. His soul had been literally shaken from ambitious slumbers. He wrapped up his career as junior research associate at 28, gathered what he needed and embarked on a journey to he knew not where.

As he read the text slowly, letting each word absorb, as did rainwater to dry Earth, he felt his attention diverting. He focused on each syllable more, looking at the shape of each single letter. But he felt as if some unseen force was trying to pull his face up. He gave in and looked up and around. The sky had grown darker and clusters of stars were beginning to shine, but that wasn’t the thing that distracted him. The station seemed deserted except a few tea shops and their distant noise. But that didn't distract him either. Then, he saw a woman sitting on the bench on the platform across the tracks. An Indian Bride.

He adjusted his spectacles to see more clearly. He could see the traditional attire of the Hindu bride. He was spellbound at its utter beauty. He couldn’t recall the name of that dress. He had seen something similar back home at the marriage of an Indian colleague. This was way more real. He then noticed her face, and gasped for breath. In his entire existence, he had seen innumerable women, talked to many and slept with some, but none so divinely gorgeous. He could have sworn he saw a glow from her face. Her brows and her eyes seemed to be sculpted with perfection. She was wearing a heavy necklace with intricate design of jewels. Her attire, he thought, was quite extravagant. Her arms had a huge number of bangles, which seemed like gold. He could even see the striking brown colored designs on her hands and upper arms that looked similar to a tattoo, but exuded tradition and not rebellion.

He could not take his eyes off her now. Her skin was too smooth to be real, and as white as clouds in Spring. She wore a nose ring, giving her a rustic appearance. Her chin had a dimple in the middle, and her lips seemed naturally red. She even had a few strands of hair falling over the left side of her face. Her visage did have an expression of melancholy, but that somehow made her even more beautiful. Her hands rested lightly on her knees, and her long fingers were still. The elegant attire she wore accentuated her ample bosom vividly. Her waist was slightly visible, and he could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Her feet, strangely, were bare.

He was fixated. The mountain air began to grow sweetly cold, but he felt warm and comforted. He held the book, but couldn’t feel it. He was aware of the time, but couldn’t register it. He was breathing, but somehow his existence seemed to be unsure. He stared as if someone held his eyeballs to the scene. She was a hypnotic sight. He felt a huge amount of varied emotions wash over him.

He felt joyous to have found her; joyous beyond any mortal could have ever been.

He was filled with curiosity of a different kind. He could not make out the reason for both of them being there at exactly the same time. But he was sure it happened for a reason.

He felt deep respect. It looked as if she was a Goddess. She was too perfectly chiseled to be real. He wanted to lie down in reverence at her bare feet.

He felt immeasurable attraction. It seemed as if she was the sole reason for his existence; as if the breath he drew came from her.

He felt immense love. It appeared as if he had been searching for this one woman all his life; as if he was born for her.

He felt intense lust. Her appearance had the sensuality of Venus. Her skin made him crave for the carnal pleasure that could only be satiated by her.

He felt insurmountable anger. She was someone’s bride, that someone’s existence enraged him. If someone had her, he could not.

He felt gnawing fear. She seemed as near as his breath, but was as far as a different universe.

He was afraid he might lose her, without realizing he never had her.

And he felt a strange amount of peace. He was beginning to feel his journey had already ended. His pursuit of truth seemed entirely futile now. The truth he sought, sat before him, the most gorgeous and terrifying fusion of emotions.

As he stared at her, without blinking even once, he felt that she knew he was watching. At that very instant, she slowly turned her gaze towards him, as if she read his mind. Their eyes finally met. What he felt was far beyond any expression. His throat went dry, and gasped for breath. He struggled to keep himself from falling over. The entire universe ceased to exist. The mountains and the breeze, the stars and the moon, the station and the bench, the book and the bag, her body and his body… they went into darkness. And all he could see were those dark enchanting eyes that smiled and twinkled.

He woke up with a start. His host had woke him up from his sleep.

“You must have been very tired. You were sleeping with your book and your mouth, open” he chuckled and held out a hand to shake.

He shook hands and tried to make sense out of what had happened just few minutes ago. His mind said it was real and helplessly resisted the thought of it being a dream. His brain suggested calmly that he had fallen asleep and just had a weird dream. He stood up now and took a deep breath. His host had a knowing smile.

“Did you dream of something? Or more precisely, someone?”

He was startled. “Well I’m not sure if it was a dream! It was too real to have been a dream. But how could you know about it?”

“I’m making just guesses here. Do not forget what land you are in, brother. Here we know things before they occur.”

His host smiled again as they walked out of the station towards his Jeep. He stood puzzled at how things were turning out. They both sat in the Jeep. There was a newspaper lying on the dashboard.

“Perhaps you should read it. It might bring you back to reality.”

He opened a random page, not too interested in the news but to get back to his senses. His eye was caught by something familiar. He looked at the image for a long time as his host drove slowly. Every single feature on her face was exactly like the bride he had seen moments ago. It seemed that she was looking right back him through that photo and smiling again, seductively. The date on the newspaper was nearly a week old. He then noticed the page title. Obituaries.