Winter was about to come in this part of the world. There was a slight chill
in the air, the kind that you want to absorb every morning as you step out of
the bed. It tingles your skin for few moments as your hand approaches
the alarm clock and you swiftly tighten the blanket for the extra five
minutes. Those are the happiest five minutes of your day. Winter had a strange
ability to instill a delay in time & a delay in movements.
He did not take any extra time to sleep that morning. Something had been
bothering him all night, and he couldn't sleep at all. It wasn’t
unusual though. There were nights when too many memories wouldn’t let him sleep
and there were nights when a certain emptiness couldn’t let him sleep. His
profession was deeply connected with good rest. It relaxed his nerves,
something that was most crucial to him. They said a sleep deprived brain could
not control the body well. And for him his fingers meant his life. He stared at
the mirror for a long time. His reflection was piercing into his soul through
his eyes. He looked away.
Today he did not feel composed. He took a deep breath,
thinking about the consequences of the job that lay ahead of him. For a
fleeting moment, he felt himself shudder at the thought of doing it. He
recalled some entrepreneurship coach saying that one should be very confident
of one's actions when one wakes up, which led to a purposeful day. He almost
smirked mentally. Giving lectures was easy. Doing it, was difficult.
He remembered the old days, detailed down to every single
moment. He could almost see that demonic dimple on his own face. A familiar old
feeling of unrequited Love and sharp shards of betrayal cut through his mental
fabric. He shook himself instantly. He wouldn't have imagined back
then that he would become what he had. And more than that, he would do what he
was going to do. He felt a surge of seething anger jab through his innards. His
head throbbed suddenly and he clenched his fists. His body was beginning to
show signs of a resolve of steel. This was going to be the full stop to
an old tale. He feared the beginning of a new story. He took a long cold
bath that soothed his uncertain mind. It is my destiny, and I shall not
flinch.
***
She took her time to wake up that morning. It was a
Saturday and the Bank where she worked wouldn’t open before eleven. She lazed
in her bed. Life had been sweet. Her boyfriend was loving, owned an S-Class
Mercedes and had a high cheekbone, one to die for. She remembered the nights they
were away and couldn't sleep. And the nights they were together
and wouldn't sleep. Her mind slipped in and out of slumber and
reverie. She walked to the window and inhaled the misty morning air, stretching
her arms wide..
She stood in front of the mirror and stared at her own
beauty. She couldn’t help but smile, exposing her little dimple on the right
cheek. Her boyfriend loved it the most. Suddenly she was reminded of someone
else who wrote a million words of praise for her dimple. That single thought
brought a mix of sad and pitiful emotions. She almost smirked mentally. He had
been so naïve to give her his collection of poetry on the Valentine’s Day. Words
are just mere words, she thought. Love, if it existed, had to be a measurable
thing, not an intangible emotion. She felt sorry for him.
The next instant, a strange fear enveloped her. She had
stopped smiling now. It felt that she wouldn’t be able to look at her beautiful
reflection ever again. She quickly pushed away the silly thought and went to
take a long warm bath that added to her sense of satisfaction. A light filled
her head that consumed the small dark dot of doubt that lurked in the recesses
of her mind. She took her time to get ready for the work, grooming every inch
of herself, removing every wrinkle, moving her hands over her marble textured
skin. Her life was like a bestselling novel, she thought, and someone must
have written it brilliantly
***
The buildings were so high that merely looking at them for
a while made you dizzy. The all-weather glass exterior reflected the sunrays to
an eye pinching extent. This is why people generally did not stare towards the
tall skyscrapers. The Gods of Architecture had made sure that nobody could look
them right in the eye. One such glass monster had many uninhabited upper
floors.
The Dragunov sat on the dusty windowsill, perched like an
eagle. The early December sun glazed over the chrome finish barrel, much like
the predator’s shiny feathers. It was silent, waiting, still as a dead clock.
The lens of the detachable optical sight shone, like the sharp vision scanning
the area for its target, the busy Bank Square. It was high above the ground,
much high, and hidden from view. Its prey, somewhere in the crowds below.
The eye on the other side of the lens, blinked.
The dimple and the reflection were going to embrace the
end. It reminded him of something poetic. The last few seconds of the prey’s
life.
The bullet of revenge seared through her cold heart as
she fell down lifeless.
This is a very well written story!
ReplyDeleteI had these moving pictures in my mind while I was reading it.. It has a sense of 'something in disguise', throughout, which is intriguing..
Really liked the ending.. :)
You could be a great story teller one day ;)
Saloni..
It's a great start having my first comment from you Saloni. Thank you so much. I'm glad I could create the imagery.
DeleteFeels like something running down my nerves too as I read this. I find myself in the similar situation right now. But was that the right thing? In love, is there a right thing?
ReplyDeleteGuess I need to read more stories from your thoughts and words to develop a side where I maybe will be comfortable. Right now, I'm glad you started this blog with a story I can connect to. Cheers and do keep writing! :)
Thank you for reading Rachit. I'm happy that you could actually live the story. In love, everything is reasonable & right mate. Quite painfully so.
Deletevery well written!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sagar :)
Deleteshuddering.. what an end!.. gone numb.. the scene by scene description was so real I felt I was seeing a movie ( scene1, I thot he was a surgeon or something.. scene2 girl, okay the typical type wanting to encash beauty.. scene 3 (I read twice) it suddenly turned in2 a thriller).. really loved reading ur first short story.. way to go... \m/
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading & commenting Nicky. I'm happy that you could connect with it so well. I'll write better stories in the time to come.
DeleteNicky mam said what had been going on in my mind... It was thrilling!! The descriptions to stall time, the sequence, the characters, everything ! Really enjoyed reading it.. Felt like I was reading a novel :D you'd write a really good one if u came to it.. Looking forward to read more stories! :)
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"Fallen Leaves" is the title which take you away in autumn smoothly, gently!
ReplyDeleteIt is an achievement for a writer, when the reader starts visualizing and living in his written characters and you did the same. This short story has so much deep thoughts, the knitting of words are appreciable.
Start is catchy and the end is thought provoking.....
The journey from fallen leaves to lifeless is really very touchy.
GOD BLESS YOU!
Kainaat
Thanks for reading & commenting Kainaat. You have been very generous with your appreciation. Such comments from a professional scriptwriter mean a lot to me. I hope you shared it with Aayesha too :)
Deletefrom the winters you gave to my imaginations to eyes I borrowed ,to look into the story...everything about the story makes me more binded with it ,just leaving me to crave for more...fingers crossed for next...
ReplyDeletefantabulously written!!!
Thanks for reading & commenting Deepika. What is a story but a figment of imagination? I'm happy that you liked it so much. But good things come in small packages :) The next one will be better...
DeleteI can see a great writer in you.I must say that it's so well organised which is one thing that makes reader flow away with the story!Eagerly waiting for the next! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Shalini. That is very gracious of you to say. The next one is about to complete.
DeleteI really like the concept but hoping that the ending is not heart breaking .I am a bit biased towards happy endings. A job well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading & commenting Amritanshu. Happy endings are too obvious at times :)
Deletethe story, the details, the narration... simply riveting! please try and write longer stories Shivang, you are a brilliant story-teller.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading & commenting Nivedita. These short stories are my way to keep my mind filled with new ideas & twists for the longer story. I'm grateful for you kind appreciation :)
DeleteThe imagery, the story and the ending, my word, the ending!! You've got that key Dan Brown and Robert Ludlum-esque key factor of keeping the reader hooked onto the story, its gripping. Awesome stuff Shivang, looking forward to reading more stuff from you, hopefully off a book shelf soon. All the best :)
ReplyDelete* ...key Dan Brown and Robert Ludlum-esque factor...
DeleteThank you for reading & commenting Saksham. It is quite generous of you to draw shades of Brown & Ludlum in this insignificant story. But I do secretly wish to be as good as such masters some day.
DeleteWith such supportive readers like you, I'll write even better stories and by God's grace, would have a book in near future :)
You really are a very good writer. No doubt about that. This post proves how well you can handle the nuances of fiction writing. It has all the required ingredients mixed into it.
ReplyDeleteI specially loved your picturesque description of things. God bless you. :)
Thank you for reading & commenting Usama. It is indeed a gratifying feeling that you have appreciated my attempt. Will improve over the time. God bless you too bro :)
Deleteol ur writng has a touch of life.. :) v.nycly writtn .. i c u as a writer..waitng 4 ur 1st book :) keep writng... gud luck!
ReplyDeleteawww... thank you Rosh :) you're so kind. With great friends like you, the book isn't far :)
DeleteThe opening is great, and the ending is different from the usual stories but I liked it. There are intriguing bits in there about the characters. Great work Shivang :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting Ani :) I'm really happy you liked it...
DeleteFirst of ol i would like to convey you that you must recognise the gem in you which one in millions have.
ReplyDeleteSecond, you have written it so well that i could imagine the stuff while reading....this creation is a superb example of a true lover turned poet/writer. and every line is so much full of life that you can't stop reading it in between...
Review: Its a retrospect of a true lover,wisely, nicely and amazingly depicted in these lines.you could even feel the lines.
Stars:*****
Thanks a ton bro! You've been with me during the darkest of times, among very few people. Your encouragement has played its role very importantly at one point of time. All I can say is God has been kind to me that I could turn the despair into something filled with hope. I'm grateful for all your support mate :)
DeleteBeautiful piece of writing. From the beginning till the end, the way you built the tempo was simply mind blowing. I have goosebumps as I write this... romance, suspense, mystery and murder...all wrapped in one piece!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. You've been very kind with your words. I'm happy that my story could touch you in some way :)
Deleteloved each and every word of it :)
ReplyDeleteOrder Birthday Gifts for Girlfriend Online
ReplyDelete